Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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