as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
