when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
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i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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