could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
