if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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