did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
