I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
