If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
