In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize