He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize