She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Randomize
