Whats the glycemic index on semen?
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
