We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
My vagina is very pro this idea
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize