Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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