did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
