Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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