im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I got her a Nickelback box set.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize