I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
