I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
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I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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