I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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