I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
