Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I wish you could order shots online.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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