i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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