I just pynch a tree in the face
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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