? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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