I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
