thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
