i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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