so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
