I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
