fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
