You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Randomize
