Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Randomize
