she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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