just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
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There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
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She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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