I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
