She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
