that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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