OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Use "feeling words"
Yay
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
