Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
even my farts smell like vagina
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Let's paint friendship bongs
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
