No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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