Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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