she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Randomize
