I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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