The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
