Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
