My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I can't turn off my feet"
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
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