he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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