My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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