Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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