my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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