just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
