with your own penis?
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Randomize
