i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
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I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
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My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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