Plan B is the new Plan A
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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