i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
