my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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