It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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