Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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