Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
