I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
