Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
