I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Randomize