I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
